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Old November 28th, 2004, 04:59 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Elizabethtown, Ontario, Canada
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Lightbulb Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Superiority/Inferiority Feelings from mother's attitude:



The posting about the response to mother's parenting style is incomplete, but then all of these postings in this "Ground Up" segment, are also just very limited. What we must look at behind the conclusions is how they play out in communal living because this psychology addresses mankind not in isolation, but in community. Let us then look at the above examples and seek some possible "movements" that might occur in response to these notions from my last posting.



Look at the mother who is always warm and present. One child may draw the conclusion that the world is wonderful and safe. Under these conditions they may not have a very deep inferiority feeling, but this primary notion might be challenged when they first go to school and meet the first school yard bully. Suddenly the "wonderful safe world" has a hostile and dangerous person in it. They are not prepared for an adversary and they may conclude that they are unable to deal with any dangerous person. Their inferiority feeling comes to the fore, and they act as if the teacher and parents must ALWAYS protect them, their goal of fictional superiority. And this arose when they had this "super mom".



Now look at the child who was raised by an anxious and nervous mother. I mentioned one who lived in an "alien and hostile country". Their inferiority feeling may be that "Everyone is out to get them" or is that a superiority feeling because after all they are targeted by EVERYONE? If every one is out to get them the compensation may be to be constantly on guard and keep a distance from all these dangerous people. This person may very quickly move away from social interest and develop a full-blown safe guarding tendency. So their goal of fictional superiority is to live behind a castle wall and pull up the drawbridge. They may even maintain a moat around their lonely castle and fill it with sharks. They may have a fictional superiority goal of ruling in a kingdom of one, but the inferiority feeling is unbearable even thogh the option is just to be a fellow man. They will be alone and deeply unhappy all the while looking like they just want to be "above others". The movement is away from mankind because they feel incapable of engaging in this world that ignores them.



Let's look at the child raised by the neglectful mother now. They as I have said, may conclude no one cares about them; they are utterly alone. This feeling of inferiority may be very severe. This person may therefore be in severe pain and it will be a very challenging task to fill up such "incompletude". However if the compensation is to seek revenge on all mankind who "owes them", their arrogance and vanity will defeat the very thing they seek … to be a part of us!



So you see, once more it is not what happened that is the problem, but rather what conclusions were drawn and the creative endeavour of this person that they perceive will compensate for the Inferiority Feeling. This is how each human creates the Fiction of the Life Style. This is the creation of a discouraged child that is perceived as the "fix" for all of life's manifold problems.



Thus it becomes the therapist's task to discern this unique law of movement in each individual they see. The difficulty is that the therapist must see this "Private Logic" in a gentle and very accurate manner, but never as other than a "fellow traveller".



So once more, WATCH THE MOVEMENT. All the person's biased perceptions are in front of you. Read that scroll with gentle, and very humble compassion!

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George Neeson M.D.
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