Actually I'm just concerned with making sure that she is not hurt anymore by what i've done (or more to the point... how she thinks I feel about her), and to make sure I deal with my addiction to internet porn. Oddly, we have had the best times together since the arrest, on my part because I saw that the woman whom I previously thought just regarded me as a sperm donor, really cared enough about me and us to stick with me, be supportive, and do everything she can to help keep me together (emotionally). On her part (I'm speculating because she is at work right now, maybe she'll give her input later) its been the fact that i've opened up. I just frankly never tried to have conversations and I would avoid uncomfortable talks at all costs. I've become more open and more approachable (IMO obviously).
In regards to how people on the outside think of me or us..... my arrest was in the paper and a total of three different broadcasts on the local news. Having said that, all of my neighbors have been very supportive (and yes they have children) and I/we have not been shunned. Now as far as friends and family, yes there have been some that have cut us off (few really), but honestly I could give two shits about them anyhow, so no harm no foul.
I care about my wife and son and how they feel about me and US, beyond that I can assure you I lose no sleep over what the "others" think.
I've not tried to get another full time job yet, I want to get the case resolved and that should be within a few weeks, but we have a decent savings and i've been doing enough side jobs that we are comfortable for awhile.
I do foresee possible problems in regards to getting a job because of this, but I think the odds are on our side, and we have faith.
The deal we are looking at would be a sealed conviction so I would not lose my civil rights or have the "felon" label. Obviously the exception is I would be a registered sex offender until I complete the probation, and would have to adhere to the conditions of that program. The only sticker there is telling any parents of my sons playmates that I cannot be alone with them without their knowledge and consent (that will be uncomfortable).

As far as the treatment I'm looking for for my wife and I, I want to do whatever it takes to get her to forgive me and be comfortable with our relationship. I too want to be comfortable with our relationship given the amount of shame I feel and the shame i've created.
God will/has forgiven me. Everyone else (save my wife and son) can jam it.