You accurately recall that I can't comment on your particular case because there are so many possibilities of what can be going on. I'll make a few general comments that may or may not apply to you.

Sometimes the first EMDR experiences are more intense than later ones. Intensity is not how we determine success -- daily life functioning is, so that's what we watch ultimately.

No one likes the discomfort of pulling up the past; the only reason we do it is to clear it out. Like cleaning a basement, its messy for a while.

As work continues, its common for various blocking beliefs to interfere. Often those are voices from the past or feelings from the past, actually part of the memory or parts of self that are loyal to the old ways of being, or loyal to external others (like family members, sometimes). These might sound like, "I shouldn't be complaining about such a small thing," "my parents did the best they could at the time." Or a client might feel hopeless in the therapy, but its actually part of the memory leaking up from the material just processed in EMDR, but incorrectly experienced as being about the present since its being felt in the present.

If during EMDR the client is going over and over the same thing without resolution, the therapist should recognize this as looping and do a cognitive interweave to get the material unstuck.

Small t traumas are things like: the time one injured ones knee and the kids at school laughed, or one lost one's place at the piano recital. Big t trauma include things like physical abuse, sexual abuse, abandonment by a parent, many experiences of emotional abuse or emotional neglect.

There is no controlled research on the use of EMDR with small t traumas, though most of us find it helpful. It is challenging because of the difficulty of identifying whether the small t trauma is really on point or not for a given issue.

Therapists need to collaborate with clients to assertain if the work is progressing or stuck, consistent with the clients goals and the therapist's knowledge and understanding. That collaboration requires discussion from both parties.

When clients know that another matter is core, rather than the present target, thats a good example of something the therapist and client might collaborate upon to get the best target.

Finally, any therapist using EMDR should have both Parts I and II training. Additionally many people benefit from additional consultation as EMDR is a complex procedure.