Hi Fleurs,

I don't know what will happen with you personally - it can vary.

Sometimes people will experience the flashback in the same way during EMDR. However, I find more often that people kind of think about the flashback rather than re-experience it. It's hard to say in advance.

The thing is if it does come up, this time you aren't going to be alone with it, and the EMDR usually will help people to move through it more quickly and come to new awareness during it. For example, it may help all the different parts of you (the one in the flashback and the one watching) to "get it" that it's a memory and it was awful, but it's over and you are safe now.

The split you talk about and the doubt re. the memory is very common. It can be a form of dissociation but it's also possible that the split and feeling of unreality is accentuated, as you say, by you having been medicated and naturally in a different state of consciousness anyways.

Hang in there - I hope the EMDR is helpful and moves this gently for you.

Carol Ann

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Carol Ann Rowland, MSW, RSW