I was wondering if anyone doing emdr had the same trouble and what, if anything , one can do about it.

I have tried emdr twice. The first time I stopped it after a few sessions because I was crying all the time, and just not doing well. It was a long time ago but I think I was just really doing awful with food (I have bulimia in addition to the ptsd and depression). The second time, my therapist recommend stopping because I wasn’t doing so well. The sad thing is the second time we tried we were not even doing past stuff, just the safe place, putting things in a box, and strengths. The first part bothers me because I can not tolerate that safety thing, feeling safe makes me feel ashamed and then I sort of fall apart. That was months ago and just recently I have been wanting to give it another go. Past things are really bothering me and I am getting really tired of it. I am unsure though if it is wise since I tried it twice. Am I beating a dead horse here? Are some people just not meant to do it? How am I supposed to ever get better if I can't even get through that first part? What am I doing wrong? or is this normal, to start and stop? I was reading some posts and I know I close my eyes. For me that is more comfortable but maybe I should try opening them while we do it? I also read something that said if you are actively cutting then you should stop, I slipped up a few days ago...does that mean I can't try it again anytime soon? How long do I have to wait? Does that even constitute active, if it was just once?


I am not sure if anyone can even comment since I guess I did get sort of specific. if so, i would really appreciate it.