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Old May 13th, 2006, 01:43 PM
Howard kelly Howard kelly is offline
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2
Default Re: Letters from Narcissus

I have just realised (dec05) that i am suffereing from Co Dependancy
a family full of secrets and emotional abuse guilt and shame which i
believe has made me addicted and attracted to people with Narcissistic behaviour problems.(autism, bi polar. narcissistic personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, Borderline personality disorder etc.
I tend to seek them out with my radar and become addicted to trying to help them. I only give up after they have emotionally abused me and emptied my bucket of kindness. I believe that i suffer from the following conditions but only bi polar and asthma have been diagnosed the bi polar i am yet to take any meds for as i have been misdiagnosed in the past.

1.Asthma excess cortisol production due to stress and anxiety leading to
symptoms of

2.symptoms of attention deficit (possible minor brain damage due to hitting head ona brick wall as a child or lead poisoning. tests show an excess of lead in my system)

3. Co dependant behaviour as described above (addicted to emotional abuse)

4. Post traumatic stress twice after lack of reciprical kindness from
people who are self centred and controlling.

5. symptoms of severe seasonal affective disorder (i do not function mentally or physically during winter. (oct to mar ).

6. I am just comming out of a deep depression after suffereing from what i believe to be post traumatic stress which has been going on after escaping from a person with symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder. I have continued my addiction with two others since (alcoholic girl with borderline
personality disorder) and another person with severe Bi Polar disorder who
everyone avoids as he is very angry and Paranoid and tries to turn you against others. I believe that i have spotted my weakness just in time and fear that my parents were partly to blame for my conditions.
My father continually still controlls me with emotional blackmail as he gives me
financial and material gifts. I believe that he gives in hope that he will recieve love and care in return and this is also my problem.

What do you think ?????

Thanks Hunkychunky1
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