Chayan, Here are some answers for you:

1) I don’t know if I quite understand your questions. Certainly, all we perceive is some sort of projection of our inner self. Yet, we grow and become more talented/informed/knowledgeable over the years. Obviously, interaction with the ‘external world’ causes us to (or allows us to) make increasingly complex arrangements of our own experience. So herein lies your answer, I think. Come to know something new as you experience others. That newness that causes you to put things together in a fresh way…that is what you learned from the other person. That is how you know you’ve experience the other person.

2) I would not say that our communication is due to secretly wanting others to know what we feel/think. Rather, I think people can not expect to successfully conceal the relatively true nature of who they are (if observers are willing to see, hear, and feel what is presented to them).

3) It takes time. It takes questions and feedback. It takes an open mind relatively free of preconceived notions.

4) As habits become automatic they become unconscious and do not require attention (or much attention) from the conscious mind. When that is the case, multitasking is possible…when that is not the case, one can’t multitask