Thank you for your reply Sandra.. I had a general idea of what I thought was happening but needed some feedback and support. Your answers did apply and were helpful for me.. EMDR was frankly, traumatizing for me. It helps to know that there are reasons for this happening and that is wasn't just failure on my part.. It was hard on my self esteem to feel that I was so flawed that I couldn't handle it. I will discuss this further with my therapist. thanks Sandra