Hi again, thank you very much for answering. The problem is I have only 5 sessions paid by my ensurance and I can't afford paying the therapy on my own so I am limited to these 5 sesions. I have already attended three of them, the first one was kind of an introduction, the second one was talking and trying to find "the secure place" (I found it enormously hard to visualise a secure place in my mind) and the third one was EMDR itself. I do know I must let whatever happens happen but I can't. I just can't. I must say I have a VERY VERY strong self-control in all life situations and I am a person of intelligence rather then emotions. My friends say I am a stone, absolute emotionless whatever happens. I do feel emotions but deep, so deep in my "soul" or whatever it is (I am sure emotions are just empulses in the brain) so that noone not even my husband has an idea what I feel. I am always neutral and well-natured. I believe one can control one's emotions but NOT feelings (here is what I would call God since I am a religious person.) I suppose feelings are still explainable but not for us, at least not at this level of intellectual development.
So....Where were I? EMDR.....I only have two sessions left and I am really worried that I will just spend this precious time in vain!!!! What would you advise me? How can I find this blocking thought? (myself? - WEll I do have a KIND of psychological education athough in "educational psychology") What can I do to be a normal person and like sex with my husband? I have been trying EMDR at home ever since and have not succeded....I just don't see anything in my mind! It is absulutely empty, or I just start thinking about some sort of thing like cooking or my job or whatever....
I am really desperate.....